Julie & Julia effect

After the completion of the magazine, I’ve been in state of la la…I would want to call it limbo but umm..that would mean i haven’t been doing anything and that wouldn’t be right. In truth, I’ve been picking up some freelance work along the way to fill up my time. Sadly, most of the projects has been rather dull. Nothing inspiring or exciting.Maybe its the weather.With all the rain we’ve been having, I’m not surprise that everything in the creative section are all frozen up. That or they could be all cuddled up under a duvet enjoying the chill breeze..Ahh…such joy…

In my mundane state, I’ve been watching a lot of french movie. And yes with me under the duvey..*laughs*
I just randomly download anything that seemed foreign. I went through quite a few movie and nothing sparked my fancy until i watched Julie & Julia. Which at first i thought was a french movie.Turns out, it was an American movie. I had no problem with it because it had Meryl Streep.

It was a simple story about a woman in her quest of self discovery by cooking her way through the year according to Julia Child’s cooking book. Nothing fancy or mind-blowing about the movie but at the end of it..I felt inspired. Something about these two ladies made me want to challenge myself more. Like Julie, i tend to not finish things that i start. I’ve been getting better throughout the years but there has been some straying at times..*smile*With Julia, she’s stubborn and when she wants something she’ll make it happen and this is where she and i are alike. So in the spirit of following their foot steps, I thought i’d make something simple from scratch..

After rummaging through the fridge, i decided to make my very own mayonnaise..It turned out good but of course it could have been better.. Through my little experiment i found out that, to make the perfect mayo..you need to season right at the end..and not mix everything together then blend..but oohh well..good first attempt…Excited to try more things now..till then..

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Don’t be so shy…you get me high

Few nights back, Mr Bear and i were watching this Italian movie. A romantic comedy with great music. Mostly made of italian bands but as they say music conquers all. Even the barrier of language. Especially this song in particular. It’s by Villeneuve supposedly a French musician. Regardless of his nationality, this tune of his…simple in words and melody. It captured the essence of what a music should be. It gave me and Mr Bear goosebumps..Something in the music and the notes just ease of sensuality, love..chance..adventure and passion.

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Last weekend, I decided to drive up to Ipoh alone. Thinking that it would be fun but instead it resulted with me,contemplating about everything.Ever since then, I’ve been in a weird state of mind. I can’t actually explain the emotions when ever someone ask me what I’ve uncover from my long drive. It’s as if everything around me is moving in slow motion and with me picking at every details. I came to realize that:

1. People here are just too caught on being first at everything

2. We have lost our ability to be an individual for fear of rejection

3. We are constantly being labeled/figured out by society because they fear the unknown/different/weird/eccentric

..and the list goes on.

4. There is no sense of loyalty in friendship anymore

5. Honesty, love and trust are slowly going down the tubes…

6. People around me not all but some, be it friends or family use me when ever they see fit. They know I don’t question them. They know i accept them for who they are. So they use that to their advantage. What they don’t know is, there will be a time when I won’t care..from what’s been happening lately…i feel it will be soon..So if i don’t answer your call…text..email..what ever hell form of communication..consider yourself..drop

7. Everyone including myself can just be too selfish

8. Age is just a number. No one said that when you’re pushing 30, you should settle down.

9. Ladies, we are not all divided into categories of Carrie, Charlotte,Miranda and Samantha..

10. Guys, you don’t need to be all macho to show us you’re a man. Look at Baryshnikov…

he took ballet, he’s still a man. Learn from him.

11. People talk shit just to show that they’re far more superior than others..

12. It’s hard to meet people that are real..and with substance..

13. It’s always the same group of people at the gig, art shows, clubs, festival and events…its sickening..

What comes to mind…

  • – It’s fine to be negative, cynical, critical and sarcastic sometimes…
  • -When someone tells you they know what you’re about…in actual fact THEY DON’T!
  • -I’m not afraid of commitment..I just haven’t found that one person i could feel at ease with.
  • -I hate explaining myself..lately i’ve been doing a lot of that…and its tiring..
  • -Avoid being in a catch 22 situation.
  • -If they delete…just proceed…
  • -I’m just like any other girl.I feel just as much as the next girl when it comes to relationship. I got better over the years by learning from my mistakes.
  • – Lately, doing good deeds has just given me loads of grieve
  • -I hate being corrected in front of everyone..If you are a true friend, do it one on one…
  • -I avoid confrontation but that doesn’t mean i can’t handle one.
  • – Don’t tell me to relax/chill
  • -My life is not anything like yours. It’s not the same..similar in anyway..stop comparing..
  • -I love to swim. I’d go to the very end..the deepest end..and just swim to the bottom..just to feel that little quiet..where everything is calm.
  • -Long drives are always good..If you have a destination to go to..drive alone (make sure you have a gps device before you do this) It’ll give some lone time. To think about things..what truly matters..
  • -When you sing, doesn’t matter if you’re good or bad…sing till you can feel it to depth of your soul..
  • -I’m looking for god..in everything..and everywhere..
  • – I fear death..I wonder sometimes..what would become of me when i die..
  • -I wanna be great..
  • -You shouldn’t push everything in your life..try to experience it..breathe it ..touch it…feel it
  • -Stop and listen..to heal..is to focus on others than yourself..
  • -Stop complaining about things that’s not worth complaining..petty stuff..
  • -Be a better person…strive everyday..
  • Don’t question how i practice my faith..in the end, what ever i do would not effect your chances of going to heaven. Watch your own boat.