When i grow up i wanna be you



It’s funny how things just fall into place when you least expect it. When you try to control everything in your life to find in the end it’s never just about you. For the past 6 months, I willed myself to listen. To people around my pet…my family..To be more alert with everything in between.To see the finer lines of things and words. I was too caught up in the details that i forgot, it never always go the way you plan.

When i was busily trying to make everyone happy, planning my start a fresh elsewhere..a little form of happiness found didn’t force itself onto me but it was strong enough for me to wake up and realize its not something i can brush aside. I struggled with it for the longest time. Thinking of what to do..what to say..Should it be the girl to say it…is it conventional..what is conventional..i had too many questions going on in my head..that i decided it was too much for me to i decided to bottle it up and focus on leaving.

Until one night, when Sigur Ros was played and i knew there’s no stopping the next step. What ever doubts and fear i had i threw it away and cast it to the wind and told him i like him. At that point, I didn’t care if he felt different or the same. The most important thing for me then, was i told myself to take a chance. And say the most purest and basic thing to someone i’d care without expecting a return of affection. Even though what happened wasn’t a grand event. The important thing i discovered that night was the will to be true and the rest will take its course.